Happy Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there! I came across this lovely piece today that I want to share.
The piece in many ways epitomizes the first lesson that Frank Osteseski, the former director of the Zen Hospice Center in San Francisco writes about in his beautiful book The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully, on the lessons he learned from years of working with the dying.
From the book:
“When people are dying, it is easy for them to recognize that every minute, every breath counts. But the truth is, death is always with us, integral to life itself. Everything is constantly changing. Nothing is permanent. This idea can both frighten and inspire us. Yet if we listen closely, the message we hear is: Don’t wait.
The problem with the word patience,” said Zen master Suzuki Roshi, “is that it implies we are waiting for something to get better, we are waiting for something good that will come. A more accurate word for this quality is constancy, a capacity to be with what is true moment after moment.
Embracing the truth that all things inevitably must end encourages us not to wait in order to begin living each moment in a manner that is deeply engaged. We stop wasting our lives on meaningless activities. We learn to not hold our opinions, our desires, and even our own identities so tightly. Instead of pinning our hopes on a better future, we focus on the present and being grateful for what we have in front of us right now. We say “I love you” more often because we realize the importance of human connection. We become kinder, more compassionate, and more forgiving.
Don’t wait is a pathway to fulfillment and an antidote to regret.”
And this:
"Forgiveness shakes loose the calcification that accumulates around our hearts.”
To me, the article is not only about forgiveness, it is about acceptance of another person, in your bones, when you move from wanting to change them and instead embrace them for who they are, for their uniqueness, despite their "shortcomings." When you make them feel that they matter, to you.
I hope you all have a great day!
